Chaos To Completion
It's been a week since I got back from our annual family shore vacation. It was lovely and I am so grateful I was able to get away from work for a few days but it wasn't relaxing.
That's just the truth.
Remember the opening scene of Home Alone when the family is running around trying to get ready for vacation? It went something like that most of the week. I'm sure there were a few times, I needed to check Life360 because I forgot where my teen kids were at.
The weeks leading up to vacation, I started this blog project. I'm really passionate about writing but that passion took a back seat this last three years so I could focus on the 11 Eleven Shop.
We stayed in beach front property and I feel very inspired when I am near the ocean. I went on vacation with the intent of writing some new material. The first morning I woke up while everyone else was asleep, I grabbed my computer and coffee, sat on the porch and turned it on. The second after I hit the 'on' button the voices in my head started yelling at me to put it away.
"RELAX!!!! Stop working!", is what I heard in my mind.
From that moment on, I decided to take a complete break from the blog and social media. I never opened the computer again for the rest of the week and I tried to stay away from my phone.
The focus was supposed to be on family. I feel strongly that they took a back seat to my business this last year and doing anything on vacation that wasn't embracing them and that energy, I would regret later on.
I put everything in to my family the entire week.
While taking the time away from work and focusing on family was valuable, I came back just as scattered as I was before I left. I started and failed to complete at least four different blogs this last week.
Full transparency. I have sooooo much going on that its really no surprise that I feel like a crazy person every day. I've started so many different projects professional and personal. I fly by the intuitive seat of my pants and structure is not my thing. I define my life as 'organized chaos'. I'm not much of a planner and I tend to be very impulsive.
It's how I'm built. It's part of my human design to operate in this fashion and I've been surprisingly successful doing so but it drives me absolutely nuts sometimes. So what do I do or say to myself, to quiet down the noise in my head and what feels like frantic energy within my body?
When I feel like a procrastinator, a fraud, a failure because I just can't seem to move forward? When I can't complete a thought or task? When I feel confused and isolated? When all eyes are on me and I feel like I'm letting everyone down. When I feel like I'm letting myself down. What do I do?
I SHOW UP FOR ME AND NO ONE ELSE.
You have got to do this. You are the most important thing in your life and if you aren't good, how can you show up for everyone and everything else in your life?
I take breaks.
When something tells me to stop, I stop. When I do this, I do it without guilt. I know that its necessary to gain clarity in the chaos.
I go outside and reconnect with nature.
When I'm all over the place, I literally feel disconnected from my body and I use nature as a way to get grounded within myself. It's great to be all spiritual but you are a human in a body on planet earth having a human experience. You have to stay connected to the human part of yourself and I find being outside in any capacity helps me greatly.
"Everything is going to be OK"
Thus far in life through the ups and downs, everything always ends up OK.
Everything that is happening is happening for a reason.
Life is always happening for me and not to me. I might not see it right away but the clarity always presents itself when the timing is right.
Rejection is the Universe's protection.
If something in life has been removed or withheld, its for a bigger purpose. When things happen that are out of my control, its the Universe seeing what is or isn't in my best interest when I am unable to.
"But that's OK..." is a quick follow up phrase I use when I'm in a place of negative self talk.
We are our biggest critics and often blame, shame, and judge the shit out of ourselves. So when I say "Renee, you're such a dumbass or Renee, you should have known better or Renee, you really f'd that one up", I always follow it up with "But that's OK". It translates in to 'I love and forgive you' for saying, thinking, or doing in a way that wasn't so high vibe. It gives you a clean slate to learn and start over.
Without long explanation or justification, I disconnect from people, places, and things when I need time for myself. I set healthy boundaries and when something toxic is crossing over the line, I put my hand up and firmly say no or stop. No is the most positive word in human existence. When you say no to negative vibes, you say yes to higher vibes and your beautiful SELF.
It is so important to create safe and peaceful space for yourself when you are spinning off your axis. If you don't, you'll just keep spinning out of control, which I probably did trying to write this blog.
But that's OK.
Using all of my own advice, I was able to complete this blog! Yay for me.
So for the sake of not rambling on and frustrating myself to the point of judging whether or not this blog is good or terrible, I'm going to stop right here. I am going to step outside and take a break!
I'm going to hit the publish button and hope that my scatteredness shows up in your life as inspiration and a reminder that everything in life happens for a reason. Don't make life more complicated than it has to be.
YOU ARE DOING OK.
YOU ARE OK.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.