What Goes Up, Must Come Down (and then must go up again)

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down, but

No, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments, that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I gotta be strong

Just keep pushing on, 'cause

There's always gonna be another mountain. (Miley Cyrus)


So the most recent 'mountain' I traveled up and down involves the closing of my shop. Another 'happening for you and not to you' moment in life. Last week, I closed our storefront in Ridgewood, NJ because I didn't want to run a large retail operation anymore. It was taking away from my ability to grow the business and also depleting me of energy needed to really be present with my family and with mySELF. Not everything in life is forever and that's ok. The Universe and my spiritual team had a bigger plan for it all.

The intuitive chattering started in my mind earlier this year. I knew that a big change was going to come about with the 11 Eleven business this year but I wasn't sure how it was all going to play out. I often have visions or premonitions of things to come but I don't necessarily get shown the exact blueprints of how it's all going to play out. 9 times out of 10, my premonitions come true but the road to get there always surprises me. 

I had a premonition and a lot of psychic hits before we started the store project in 2019. I followed the intuitive guidance and breadcrumbs that led to the opening of the shop and studio in March of 2020. We opened two weeks before COVID-19 shut everything down. Never in my premonition, did those voices tell me, 'This isn't a good idea because we are heading into a pandemic that is going to most likely affect small business owners in a negative way'. That never crossed our minds so I guess it was just meant to be.

It was surprisingly easy to get through those first 8 months because we didn't freak out. There was a reason why everything played out like it did. So even when we had moments of doubt or fear, we just kept telling ourselves that it would be ok. Even if it didn't work out, it did. It wasn't always easy but in the three years since the very beginning, it was fun and a great learning experience.

When things are going really well, whether it's for a short or long period of time, I think that many of us are programmed to wonder when it's all going to end. When will the other shoe drop? When will it all be taken away?

I've learned over the past few years, that's no way to live and it's the opposite of being present. When something amazing comes into your life, you should enjoy it. Every single person, place, or thing that shows up is there for a reason. None of it is there by coincidence and none of it is happening to you. Every moment. Every circumstance. Good and bad is happening for you and for a reason. Go with the flow and ride the wave. Eventually everything becomes clear at some point so don't miss out on the experiences and the fun. They are all practice for what is to come. Even the crappier experiences come with a silver lining.

Now some of you might want to call bullshit on that because the ‘something happening for you' right now feels really shitty. I think my 18-35 year old self would have been thinking the same thing. Someone in my life at all those ages and stages who had more experience and wisdom definitely tried to bring me out of my more chaotic moments with the 'it's happening for a reason' upside of things.

I hate to admit it, but they were all right. I also recall through all of my suffering as a kid and a teen, the only thing that got me to the latter end of my childhood was a voice inside my head that told me to keep hanging on. That there was a light inside of me that I was meant to shine on the world. That someday I would do something so impactful with my life that would resonate outwards to everyone I touched. 'So just hang on Renee. Stay the course. It'll all make sense someday. You have a purpose." 

It took me a long time to connect to that purpose but when I did, it all made sense.



Honestly, where I am standing right now in my life? Every single thing that has transpired since I was conceived needed to happen to ensure my success. Quite honestly, it was all the sad crappy struggles that had the biggest impact and brought to me every single person, place, and thing that I hold so near and dear to my heart in the present day. The stuff that really matters. Not money. Not popularity. Not 'things'. More so the experiences and relationships. That's what I treasure the most.

Lots of ups and lots of downs. The ONLY reason I am where I am today is because I didn't let the downswings of life turn me into a victim. When you climb the mountain, guess what? You can't stay there forever. You gotta hike back down. 

So I was riding high for a while on the success of the shop but all the while not staying too comfortable. I had other psychic hits on where I was supposed to eventually land with 11 Eleven. I had a premonition way before I started down the spiritual intuitive wellness path. I was an advocate first for mental and emotional health and domestic/sexual abuse and violence. I wanted to create a safe space and center around helping and supporting victims and survivors, both adults and children in their healing processes.

Over the past 4.5 years what I learned within my Reiki practice and running the store is that most people who are looking to dive into spiritual connection or knowledge are searching for healing. 90% of those individuals have struggled and suffered with some sort of exposure to trauma in their childhood or adult life. 

So how do I mesh the two? There were a lot of ethereal breadcrumbs being laid in my path to combine my spiritual knowledge and work with my advocacy experience and efforts. 

I gave up my Reiki office when COVID started and when all was ok to start seeing clients again, I just operated out of the studio in the back of the store front. Eventually I was led to move back into a private office but there wasn't really anything available. My amazing landlord had a 5 office suite that was sitting empty and offered to rent a couple of offices to me without making me sign a lease on the entire space.

 Funny story. My original office was two doors down and when I originally looked at that space at the beginning of 2019, the 5 office suite had just been renovated and were available for rent. I walked in and looked at it and said "one day I'm going to do something with these offices".

So in 2021 when I rented two of the five offices in the suite, I started laying the foundation that would lead me to that safe space and center I knew way back when I would someday create.

What goes up, must come down. It was time to make my way down the mountain.

Earlier this year after I had opened the offices, I literally thought to myself "the other shoe is gonna drop". I could feel it but didn't want to take it as a negative thing. Waiting for something bad to happen is not a good manifesting practice.

Honestly, I thought I could have it all and do it all but the Universe and my Higher Self had a different plan and quite honestly, I knew it. The shoe did drop. A whole bunch of shoes dropped this year. When it rains it pours but what I constantly remind myself is that 'everything happens for a reason' and 'everything happens for you, not to you'. 

I tried to devise a plan to take a lot of lemons and make lemonade. I tried to control it all the best way I knew how. I was trying to move forward and grow through the harder times without letting anything die out. 

The Universe said NO to that progression in a lot of different ways. There were feelings and voices in my head telling me to stop when I was go, go, going. There was divine intervention that put roadblocks in my path to keep my ego from taking me in the wrong direction. 'NO' doesn't always come with the greatest of feelings but instead of feeling like a failure, a victim or being woe is me, I do what I do best.

I open up, connect, and try to gain clarity to the bigger picture. I read and interpret the energy of that being placed before me and also the energy of myself and the others around me directly connected to whatever is happening. 

It was all pointing in the direction of a new mountain and a new journey but I wasn't really feeling a new adventure. Climbing mountains isn't easy. I kind of wanted to take a rest in the valley in between the last mountain and the next. I've been a little tuckered out lately from all the craziness hence why you haven't seen a blog from me in the last 6 weeks! I've got like eight started but couldn't muster the energy to finish any of them.

But every moment of every day comes with the possibility of a new beginning with new fresh energy and clearer vision in what could be. When I'm totally exhausted by life and the climb, I don't force myself to go harder than I need to. Sometimes you just gotta take a rest so you can recharge. When you are constantly on the run, you miss very important details that might make the journey a little easier. In that process, a lot of ideas and visions will show up and cause confusion and can lead to a lot of starts and stops. I am a chronic starter and stopper. I get great ideas and start executing and then something tells me to stop because I need more clarity. This happens to me on a regular basis. Makes me look and feel a little flaky but it's just how I figure stuff out.

As I was hustling and bustling trying to make everything work, I found myself burnt out, not enjoying what I do, and most importantly missing my family. So that was an indication for me to stop, take a break, and gain clarity. No matter how much my ego was egging me on to keep moving, I had to stop. I had to fight the fear of what other people would think if I took a break. I didn't want anyone to think I was a hot mess or a failure in all of the exposed efforts of expanding and growing 11 Eleven. I had presented to customers, clients, family, friends and followers a vision that came to me without fully understanding how it was all going to materialize. 

In that rest, I discovered that I had to let the storefront go. In order to see the big picture I had to let a piece of what I had created die. I needed to make space for the new journey and roll with the tides of change and evolution. I decided to downsize the retail side of the business and focus on what is really important to me personally but also focus on the long term effects that 11 Eleven will have in the spiritual intuitive space for years to come.

Right now, I feel relieved that I managed to climb up and make it down another mountain path. I am sad but happy to be letting a piece of that journey go. I am currently heading my way back up another mountain and I'm not going to lie to you. I'm a little scared and a little winded but I'll catch my stride. When my Higher Self and the Universe call, I follow. When I follow, they guide and protect and we make shit happen together. I'm taking all that I have learned and all of the amazing relationships created into the next chapter of my story.

I never have it all figured out even when I think I do. I am an expert, a pro, and a guru when it comes to change and evolution. That's what makes me so good at my job. If I can do it, everybody can do it. Truly. I think aside from my gifts of intuitive connection, it's the most admirable trait about me that people love. Truth and change. I'm good at speaking the truth. I'm not afraid of truth or change. Evidence in my own endeavors have shown that the harsher truths of life, all of the ups and downs can result in abundant faith, hope, and love. 


Letter From Editor:

The 11 Eleven Healing shop at 14 W. Ridgewood Ave is permanently closed but not gone forever. We will be reopening around the corner upstairs at 4 Wilsey Square where our new functional intuitive wellness center is currently located.

We are renovating space to reopen a scaled down version of our spiritual wellness shop as well as a new shared wellness space that will be utilized for workshops and classes. There will be opportunities also to rent the space for events and for professionals who need a space to meet with their clients. Hopefully the retail end will be up and running for the holidays. We still have all of our tumbled stones and basic inventory, so if you need to come in to get some crystal supplies, shoot us a text or phone call and we can schedule a time for you to shop. 201-774-6551.

My deepest gratitude for everyone that stepped foot through our doors since we opened in 2020. You have taught me so much. You have inspired me every day with your light, stories, and determination. Every single person I have met is working on healing and falling in love with their SELF and their story. I am beyond honored to have been a part of it. I look forward to seeing you all flourish in your own journeys.

We are redesigning our website and hopefully that project will move forward with ease. Please follow us on social media. Instagram is our primary way to communicate changes and events happening at 11 Eleven. We have many wonderful and gifted practitioners in the center. Reiki, Intuitive Card Readings, Energy Balancing, Astrology, Human Design, Runes, Fascia Stretch Reiki, and Cranial Sacral Therapy are just a few of the services offered. We will be putting up classes and workshops in the near weeks.


With Gratitude,

 Renee (Owner, Reiki Master, CCC - Chief Co-Creator)

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